You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
