hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
