So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
