Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
