It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
