Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
