I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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