Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
