STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it hurts more in the daytime
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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