i wish my penis had a tongue
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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