Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if you like me you must not know who I am
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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