did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
