I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
