I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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