you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
