HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
