My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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