Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
