Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
