Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
