she woke up with a sticky ear
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
