dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
