I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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