I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
