I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize