i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My dick has a subreddit
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
