And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize