Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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