thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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