Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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