We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
