I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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