i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
