no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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