wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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