Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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