I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
