Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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