Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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