she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize