Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
