what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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