I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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