Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
where am i from again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize