He disabled his match.com account in front of me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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