I wish i was in the wii world.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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