Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
