just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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