If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize