They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize