dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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