my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
