I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
