Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
