the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
