in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
