He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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