chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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