her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
