Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
