AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
