THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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