That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
