they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
