believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
