Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize