Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
