I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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