She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
