Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
