my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
