mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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