well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
