real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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